Internets
Sad.
I was twelve years old, and the family had been summoned to the casa de Susan for that year’s Thanksgiving holiday bash. Everyone who was anyone would be there. Your favorite cousin Gilroy? He’d be there. Your least favorite uncle Ziggy? You bet he’d be there. And old Grandma Beatrice? Yep, she was going too.
THANKSGIVING AT AUNT SUSAN’S Read More »
I remember thinking, “Hey, queer! Get your queer hands off me!” But the doctor didn’t listen. He pulled me out the same. “Welcome to the world,” the doctor said. “Fuck off!” I said. I decided then and there that I was going to be a bad baby. “Hold on, I have to cut that pesky
THAT TIME I WAS A BABY Read More »
“What do you mean you’ve never heard of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?” I shouted at the stupid girl in the pet store. It was all I could do to keep from knocking her down and stepping on her. How could she not have known? “There were four of them! Mutants! Turtles! Christ, the whole
MAKE YOUR OWN NINJA TURTLE Read More »
Again the woman threw her drink in my face. Red wine rolled down my chin and stained my favorite tie. “I think there’s been a misunderstanding,” I told her. “I said I’d like to have sex with you.” “Oh,” the woman said. “I thought you said you worked for the postal service.” “No ma’am. I
THAT TIME I WENT TO A BAR Read More »